BREAKING THE SILENCE: EMPOWERING CHANGE AGAINST

26 Nov BREAKING THE SILENCE: EMPOWERING CHANGE AGAINST

GENDER-BASED VIOLENCE IN THE INDIAN COMMUNITY

As a business leader, I often advise clients on regulatory and tax matters and provide counsel on
challenging family situations. Many colleagues have also noted that we are increasingly requested to
act as counsellors rather than just technical experts because of the trusting relationship we have with
our clients. I am frequently called upon to help women escape difficult marriages without financial
support. Listening to their stories of abuse makes me question how any woman can be subject to such
treatment in today’s world. We should have more control over how we permit our partners to treat
us.

On Friday, 21 November 2025, a national shutdown occurred to raise awareness about gender-based
violence (GBV), organized by Women for Change. This movement resulted in GBV and femicide being
declared a national disaster under the Disaster Management Act. This marks a significant victory for
all. While GBV in South Africa is often termed a “second pandemic,” for many women in the Indian
community, it remains a daily, hidden reality marked by silence, shame, and fear.

As an Indian woman and business leader, I cannot ignore the issues I see within our homes and
communities. The 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence serves as a mirror reflecting the
reality that our Indian community is not exempt from this issue; we are simply quieter about it.

Gender-based violence (GBV) often hides behind notions of respectability and the pressure to “keep
the family together.” It remains a taboo topic, leading many to accept their circumstances in silence.
This abuse is not limited to physical harm; it encompasses emotional, psychological, financial, and
spiritual violence.

For example, a wife may be belittled by her husband while being advised to “adjust.” A daughter might
face threats for wanting to leave an abusive relationship for fear of bringing shame to her family.
Women who are financially dependent often feel like burdens, and even successful professional
women can experience fear at home. Abuse knows no boundaries in our society.

In the Indian community, we grow up with strong values of family, duty, and respect for elders. While
these values can be positive when rooted in love, they can also be harmful when used to silence victims
and protect abusers. Misusing cultural beliefs leads to phrases like “What will people say?” or “A good
wife endures,” which trap women in violent situations. Some are told that divorce is more shameful
than physical bruises, as if a lavish wedding justifies enduring abuse.

Additionally, patriarchy is often normalized in subtle ways within families. Boys frequently receive
more freedom and support than girls, who are taught to serve and remain silent. This dynamic creates
environments where control and disrespect toward women are accepted. To address gender-based
violence (GBV), we must confront the beliefs and behaviours in our community that minimize women’s
pain and excuse men’s violence.

One of the biggest challenges we face is the silence surrounding abuse in families. We often whisper
and avoid open discussions, prioritizing family reputations over the truth. This silence inadvertently
protects the abuser. Our community must shift from silencing survivors to actively supporting them.

We should believe women when they speak out, reject forced reconciliation, and stop hiding abuse
during family gatherings. We must also stand with women who choose to leave abusive situations,
even if it is uncomfortable or contradicts traditional views of a “good” woman or “successful” family.

Ending gender-based violence (GBV) requires collective effort from everyone, not just the government
or NGOs. It starts in our daily environments—homes, workplaces, places of worship, and communities.
At home, we should encourage respect and teach boys that true strength lies in valuing consent, while
helping girls recognize their worth beyond domestic roles. We must reject jokes and comments that
belittle women, as our actions shape children’s beliefs.

Places of worship hold significant influence. Faith leaders should recognize signs of abuse, support
victims safely, and firmly state that abuse is unacceptable in all contexts.

In workplaces, establishing clear GBV policies and providing safe support channels can make a
significant impact. Practicing confidentiality, training managers, and offering flexible schedules for legal
or counselling needs can transform work environments into safe havens. Together, we can work toward
a future free from GBV!

We must actively support the organizations working on the ground. Shelters, legal clinics, helplines,
and community-based groups tirelessly serve their communities, often with limited resources. Those
who have networks, influence, or resources—such as individuals, businesses, and professionals—can
partner with these organizations. Support can take many forms: financial contributions, pro bono
services, mentorship, skills development, or simply amplifying their work so that women know where
to turn for help.

Raising awareness during the 16 Days of Activism is vital, but without accountability, it leads to minimal
change. Men must hold each other responsible for harmful behaviours, and families should not
welcome back abusers without consequences. Communities need to support survivors throughout the
legal process, even when cases become public. Leaders in business, politics, and faith must
courageously speak out, even at the risk of backlash.

To every woman living in fear: your safety, dignity, and life matter more than family reputation, social
expectations, or cultural pressures. You are not alone, and what is happening to you is not your fault.
To every man reading this: gender-based violence (GBV) will not end simply because women are more
careful. It will end when men choose to behave differently, challenge one another, and unlearn harmful
ideas about power and entitlement.

To our Indian community: we possess deep love, resilience, and solidarity. As we mark 165 years since
the arrival of Indians in South Africa, let’s reflect—have we truly arrived? We must now focus our
strength on addressing gender-based violence—not later, but now. Healing begins with
acknowledgment. Let’s choose courage over comfort and action over silence, so we can build homes
and communities where every woman and girl is safe, valued, and free.